I searched in your pants and didn’t find any money

I found an atm receipt ($282 left)

I found a gold caramel wrapper

But not a penny

In your jacket I found lip balm

In the left pocket there were two wrinkled wads of tissue waiting for another use

A note in the breast pocket asked, pls drop of @ CO

And still not a cent

In your soft gray jacket that’s missing two buttons and has a ripped liner

In the outside pocket of this jacket, I found a paper clip

It was on a folded and angled dollar bill

Even dead people have money in their pockets

As I lean in to dry my tears I brush my cheek on your jacket

I can still smell you

Somehow that is left

And the jacket feels so warm and gentle like you

And I don’t care that you took yourself

I just want you back

That’s all I want

Dad’s doctor says that he shouldn’t be crying at night anymore

But he does

I do

We cry and cry

Especially when we don’t expect it

It hits us taking over all our thoughts

Four months, four days maybe four years

It doesn’t matter

It’s still the same

When I feel you I know that you’re gone

That will never change

I’ll never stop crying

It may happen less but it doesn’t hurt less

Your pants don’t fit

But your jackets do

I’ll wear them because I need them

Now the pockets will be filled with my tissues

And the smell will now be mine

But it’s your dollar

I’ll leave that, I promise, I’ll leave that